Part one
It is a line blurred easily and rarely identifiable enough to recognize when it has been crossed. It is the line where friendship heightens and becomes romance, or when romance decomposes to a degree and becomes friendship. Like the difference between reality and a fictional world, one most frequently mistakes one for the other. And the dilemma brings fourth questions which may or may not be resolved with the flip of a coin. Perhaps heads for a lukewarm platonic embrace and tails for an overheated, stifling lover.
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Hidden beneath multiple layers of blankets and quilts in a chair about as comfortable as a stack of bricks, Daniel Jay Hill sat waiting for eight o’clock to arrive. The sun was already set as Daniel impatiently rocked his chair, muttering to himself about the inconvenience and embarrassment St. Mary’s served him everyday, giving him the pills they insist he take each time before Emmy visits. Daniel continued to mutter words to himself about the lack of utter respect the attending and the psychiatrists at St. Mary’s had for him. As he stared at the clock, the minutes ticked by ever so slowly. When the clock reached quarter to eight, Daniel smiled, bemused with the thought of being able to take a firm hold of one of the guilty attending and shaking them until they quivered, possibly even wetting themselves in fear. Nothing held Daniel back from doing so, for they only thing the ignorant beasts could do was lock him in his room and throw a few extra pills into his current cocktail. Perhaps the only thing that actually prevented Daniel from doing so was the very little common decency he had left. That, and, Daniel did not
want to have spent any additional time with that ho-ding shrink Dr. Viktor Bonham, listening to him rant for hours as Daniel looked at his fancy PhD in a gold frame from some Ivy League school. A PhD, in which, was hung directly in Daniel’s point of view, undoubtedly placed there on purpose.
Life at St. Mary’s was always quite dull, and frankly, the only true amusement around a place like the institute was the name itself. St. Mary’s Emotional and Mental Health Institute. Daniel believed such a name was amusing because he thought that only a handful of actual patients were truly in need of help, and that the attending and doctors were the one that actually needed to be sedated by the grey boredom that the patients were served with each day.
All things aside, as eight o’clock rolled in and Daniel’s least favorite attending right on its heels, Daniel braced himself for the overly sugar soaked persona to enter into his bleak room. While he despised Matilda because he annoyed her greatly, most other patients at St. Mary’s loved her, saying she was “charming” or “had a wonderful aura”. To Daniel, her constantly cherry personality crammed into her petite figure was as enjoyable as a cramp in his bum legs. Daniel thought of his disdain for her until a knock on the fake oak door to his “humble” living arrangements disturbed his thoughts.
“Come in,“ he croaked, assuming it was Matilda, because she was never not on time, and it was about five to eight. In response, the door creaked open with a squeak that caused Daniel to cringe and brace himself. Greeted first by Matilda’s mass of tangled home-dyed red curls, Daniel grimaced as she finally made herself the main focus of the evening. She grinned at Daniel and displayed her full set of gleaming teeth.
“Daniel, how are you this wonderful evening? I hope everything has been well.” Matilda nodded to him as she straightened her dark blue uniform. Daniel watched with a look of petty annoyance as Matilda continued to babble as she attempted to hand him a small cup filled with at least seven different colored pills in strange shaped and a large orange cup of water with the letters D-A-N-I-E-L written on it in big, bold letters as if Daniel was blind instead of crazy.
“That is Mr. Hill to you Matilda. And this evening, this entire day, has fulfilled my expectations of wonderful. There has never been a better day in my life than today.” Daniel crossed his arms, and challenged her by ignoring the items she held out for him. She set down the two cups on his side chair table and exhaled in frustration.
“Please refrain from using such sarcasm with me Mr. Hill, it’s rude. And please take your meds, please Mr. Hill!” Matilda practically begged. “And as for this Emmy situation… maybe you should speak to Dr. Bonham about her.” Matilda suggested with a superior tone. Daniel shook his head, irritated by the comment Matilda made about Emmy. He shook his head and did not answer her. By then, Daniel had grown tired of the her presence and as he rolled his eyes, snatched the pills off the table and downed them, knowing that she would leave soon afterwards. “Very well then Mr. Hill, you should try to get some rest now. I’m on my way home now but Bridgett is here for the night. Good night then Mr. Hill.” Matilda turned swiftly and Daniel watched as she departed with a hint of scorn in her step which prolonged her exist. Finally, with Matilda’s presence terminated, Daniel was left alone as he waited for his dear and beloved Emmy. For she always arrived shortly after his cocktail of pills.
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Part Two
The simplicity of a being in a relationship is at times truly amazing. So amazing that sometimes all it takes is few simple words that leads to a friendship, romance or even a deep hatred between two people. And what may be even more amazing is the idea that most of the relationships between people are not even initiated by those two people. Often times, a mutual friend will introduce the two, and from that moment on, a relationship is on the verge of birth.
Most of the children on Cherry Drive at the time were between the ages of 8-12, so it was natural for the only two children in the neighborhood that were of pre-preschool age to become friends. Each of their mothers knew that once they entered pre-preschool, their children would need a friend.
Both Daniel Jay Hill and Emmy May Baker lived in Bridgeport, Connecticut with their parents in the neighborhood of Oak Harbor. Emmy’s parents were a young couple, both friendly and intelligent, and were proud of their little dark haired whom constantly carried around a slightly worn stuffed giraffe who her mother named Cornelius, after the younger brother of Francie Nolan in A Tree Grows In Brooklyn, a book she had read while pregnant with Emmy. Across the street from Emmy’s home was house number 2113, occupied by Daniel and his two parents who were also a young couple that were very bright and amiable. Daniel was a fair-haired, thin limbed boy of four, a physical foil to Emmy’s dark hair and chubby frame. The two children appeared to be different but had many overlooked similarities. Both often ignored by the older children in the neighborhood that attended the neighborhood dinner parties wit their parents, some were quick to judge that Daniel and Emmy only resorted to each others company as a sheer obligation, but in actuality, they would have chosen each others company even if the other children had offered their own company to Daniel and Emmy. And really that was the simple beginning of the friendship between Emmy and Daniel. Two young neighbors, destined to be the greatest friends.
On a comfortably warm Thursday afternoon in June, Daniel found himself and Emmy once again walking towards their favorite place in Bridgeport after their lessons at the Holden house, which was a mansion sized house that served as the facility for a variety of art, music, and dance instructors to teach their crafts to people of all ages. Daniel was currently in several beginners art classes that included sketching and painting, and could not wait to advance up to the next set of art classes so he could sculpt with clay. Emmy also took classes at the Holden house, but her lessons were in the field of dance and music as she was taking ballet and jazz as well as piano and violin lessons. For a girl of eight, Daniel though Emmy both danced and played her instruments very well.
For any normal children, such a schedule would have been an overload, but strangely enough, even at such a young age, Daniel and Emmy were both so passionate about their art their lessons weren’t a chore for them, but more of a lifestyle. Daniel always thought of his art as something fun to do, unlike sitting around and watching some silly television show. Anyways, if he did not attend as many classes as the Emmy, then Daniel would be bored while waiting for Emmy while she was at her ballet lessons.
Starting from the spring before that year, Daniel and Emmy would spend the remaining hours of the day at their spot, which was the gigantic cherry tree in the middle of a grassy field on the property of a rental home that was owned by the Richardson’s who had given Daniel and Emmy permission hang around on the property. Even though Daniel and Emmy were both only nine years of age, everyone in town knew that both had much talent to spare, and that the giant cherry tree was their spot. Daniel loved to go to the cherry tree with Emmy. He loved that no matter what the weather was like, it was always so beautiful under its wide, protective branches.
Sitting there, under the cherry tree was when Daniel felt the most comfortable in his skin. With Emmy at his side practicing her latest violin piece, Daniel sat in the embrace of his favorite tree with his favorite person.
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Part Three
Once in a while, a person’s life changes due to the influence of an individual. That individual may be part of an existing relationship or, may even be a person just off the street that just affects how you see the world. Either way, the connection with these people is never forgotten about. The thread that runs between yourself and that other person is unbreakable, and is so extraordinary, words can hardly describe how they change you as a being. And when that person is gone, there is an indefinite hole there, and you can’t explain why, but your soul aches for them.
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When Daniel Hill awoke the next morning after his long visit with Emmy, he felt strangely youthful. It was not unusual for Daniel to be in a more pleasant than normal mood after his visits with Emmy, but the feeling after her more current visits was different than normal. As Daniel completed his morning bathing ritual of brush teeth, shower, brush teeth, brush hair, and brushed his teeth again after he clothed himself, he thought of reasons why Emmy decided to bring up the first day they met. Nothing exceptionally outstanding happened that day, Daniel thought as he tucked the end of his shirt into the top of his pants. Smoothing out the wrinkles on the checkered blue shirt, Daniel shifted through the jumbles mess of memories under the cherry tree, as he tried to find any fragment of importance of that day.
Before coming to a conclusion, Daniel’s thoughts were interrupted by an eight a.m. wake up “call”. Daniel sighed before he took one last look at his poor liver spotted skin and almost completely bald head, and made his way to the door with his hand clutch to his useless leg and threw the main door to his quarters open and revealed a young woman in a bright, clean new uniform. Obviously a new employee at St. Mary’s, Daniel nearly felt a wave of pity for the girl who trembled in her freshly polished shoes. Now, it was not a hidden fact that most, if not all, of the attendings feared Daniel and thought he was a mean old grouch.
Daniel couldn’t help by sigh internally, shaking his head at himself. He really could not help it, these people didn’t even know how hard it was to be stuck inside a loony bin for a reason that was unknown to him, while Emmy lived on in the outside world.
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Both Daniel and Emmy had left Bridgeport, Connecticut to attend the universities of their choice, on separate sides of the country. Daniel’s last exam had been two days earlier, before Emmy’s, so Daniel had made it come from his art school in New York before Emmy had even finished her exams at Berkley. It would be the first time Daniel would see his dear friend since that past August due to his art show in November during Thanksgiving weekend which had withheld him from returning home. Luckily though, Daniel had been able to convince Jasper and Jade Baker to allow Daniel to pick Emmy up from the train station and spend the day with her. Daniel was extremely excited to be able to see his friend again and was half tempter to call her and explain the pan he had to “kidnap” her for the special day he had planned. Daniel could not help but bubble with anticipation of the arrival of his friend as he though of the beautiful look of joy that would pass over her face and fill her wondrous green eyes with glee.
At the station, Daniel shuffled his feet while he sat and waited on a solid bench as he looked at the grand clock, watching the minutes ticker closer to eleven fifteen a.m. At eleven fifteen, train #15 was scheduled to arrive at terminal 15. Train #15 was Emmy’s train. Daniel bounced in his seat, feeling as if once again he was a boy of fifteen who impatiently waited for something long waited for. When eleven ten arrived, a voice boomed over the intercom system and announced the arrival of train #15 at terminal fifteen, in which Daniel was sitting at the entrance of. Though many people stood around him waiting for their own family members, Daniel was convinced that no other person felt the excitement on the same level as he did.
Then, without another passing though, Daniel heard a loud whistle and turned its direction. And he saw her; her milky flesh and swaying mane of ebony that was tied up with a red ribbon and the face he missed so dearly. Before even a hello passed her plush lips, Daniel jumped upon Emmy and swept her in his arms and spun her around, her legs out behind her. Emmy’s laughter burst into the air as she hugged Daniel back.
“Daniel!” Emmy’s voice twittered into the air. “I’ve missed you so much!” The two continued to laugh when Emmy kissed his cheeks. Daniel’s chest swelled with pride when passer by-ers gave the two of them small smiles while they whispered about how cute the two were. Daniel played with the loose strands of Emmy’s ponytail and he realized how much he missed the soft, silky feeling of her hair.
“So I managed to convince your parents to allow me to kidnap you for the day, so we better get a move on,” Daniel said as he broke from their embrace. “Is that your suitcase? And you brought your violin right?” Daniel rushed past a startled Emmy, grabbed both of the suitcases beside her, took her hand and started to head out of the train station.
“Yes and yes. But wait a second Daniel!” Emmy stopped quickly on the spot, with Daniel’s hand still in hers. “Where exactly are we going? I’m kind of overwhelmed. I mean, I haven’t seen you in about 5 months! So just explain real quick before we go anywhere.” Emmy stuck her hands firmly on her hips and waited for a response with a look of mock irritation upon her face. Daniel blushed with embarrassment when he realized that he let his boy-ish excitement led him by the hand.
“Uhm…it’s a surprise?” Daniel replied with the hope that his answer would be sufficient enough to satisfy Emmy’s question. His heart clenched when Emmy’s expression did not change. Suddenly, a smile broke across her face and Emmy laughed. Daniel watched her in disbelief. Emmy continued to laugh despite the look on Daniel’s face. “What! Emmy, I thought you were being serious.” Daniel exclaimed, shaken and not knowing what to do.
“No, of course not! You should know better Daniel.” Emmy wiped tears away from her eyes as she tried to calm down from her fit of laughter. Daniel just shook his head and hit her softly in the side. “Anyways, this surprise better be good.” Daniel nodded his head to reassure his friend. “Well in that case, lead the way Sir Daniel Jacob Hill!” Emmy shouted as she took Daniel’s hand once again and pulled him through terminal 15 and out of the station.
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Part Four
Guilt is not uncommon among beings. And nor is denial. But when the two become a couple, the result is inevitably damaging to the human conscious. Without the acknowledgement of guilt, something breaks in one’s mind, which in turn, a leak begins and eventually drowns the concept of reality. When people have no concept of reality, often they make up a new form of “reality” or revert to a time when they life was quite possibly idyllic. Yet, there must always be an end to any new, made-up reality, for the water always finds a break in the dam.
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The day had been glorious. It could not have been written anymore perfect in a fairytale. Daniel’s plan for a day under their favorite, wondrous cherry tree had been the idea of all ideas. Once Emmy found out that they were heading to the place that held so many beautiful memories of their childhood, she grew excited and bounced in her seat as she talked nearly a mile a minute, none stop until they reached their destination. The car ride over was devoted to conversations of reminiscing their favorite moments and pieces they had created at the cherry tree. And at the cherry tree, the two sat under its wide, powerful branches, over looking the serene field. Daniel decided at that moment, as he sketched Emmy the way only he could sketch her with her violin perched upon her shoulder underneath her chin, Daniel decided that if he were to die at that moment, he would be content and die a happy man.
It had begun to get dark when Daniel at last decided it was about time to return Emmy home to her parents. Daniel set his sketchbook between himself and Emmy, and sighed as he paused to indulge in her aura before he stood from his spot.
“Let’s go Emmy. I should get you home to your parents. If I don’t get you back before nine on the night of your first day home in awhile, then I think Jasper may just shoot me,” Daniel joked with Emmy as he pulled her up from her seat at the base of the tree’s trunk. Emmy started to protest but quieted herself when she shook her head in agreement.
“I guess you’re right Daniel.” Emmy brushed off the seat of her floral printed coral dress and stretched. “ You know, today has been so wonderful. Sometimes I truly forget how much I love you and why. Times like these are a nice reminder.” Emmy said wholeheartedly. When she smiled at Daniel, her dimples invited him into an embrace which he complied with. As he held her, Daniel thought back to all the moments like this; the top of her head almost to his nose, her hair smelling of clean soap and cherry blossoms. Emmy’s skin was always warm, white with a flush of pink.
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“Mr. Hill, wake up Mr. Hill!” A loud , irritating voice frantically screeched. “ Margaret, go retrieve the medic and Viktor. And hurry up about it, this man needs help here!” A cold hand was lain across his cheek as the owner of the hand patted at his face, as she tried to bring him back to consciousness. “Mr. Hill, can you hear me? It’s me, Matilda. Mr. Hill you are having a heart attack. Now I need you to try and focus. Listen to me and my voice. Don’t drift off or anything, I sent Margaret to find Dr. Bonham. Everything will be alright.” The lights around Daniel buzzed and danced while they simultaneously quieted the panic that had begun to reside into Daniel’s old, worn heart.
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As Daniel and Emmy walked the twenty minute walk back to the main road where they parked, the natural light around them had gradually decreased so by the time they reached their destination it was completely dark. Daniel and Emmy had held hands the entire way to the small black car, free hands carrying either a violin or a large sketchpad and a case of pencils. The feeling between the two had changed into something that was unfamiliar, but both were still comfortable. Daniel had been able to recall a story that Mrs. Reece, the crazy old bat who used to own the sweet shop in Bridgeport, about a man and his dog that lived on the full moon waving a gigantic fan around to create the night‘s breezes, like the breezes that would pass ever so often. . Both Daniel and Emmy laughed and their entire bodies shook as they remembered the tale and how Mrs. Reece had managed to convince the two that it was true. On the road that was next to their vehicle, cars passed every so often, a speedy flash of headlights to that created shadows behind Daniel and Emmy.
“Okay, we really have to stop and get our things in the back.” Daniel said, gasping for the air that he lacked. Emmy pouted at Daniel but helped him put her violin in the black car. Daniel had gone to place his sketchbook and pens in the car as well, but the passing breeze had taken a loose sketch of Emmy from the book and carried it into the road.
“I’ll get that, you just get the car started.” Emmy said. Daniel heard her giggle at his at clumsiness as she walked over to the sketch in the street. Daniel laughed to himself as he got into the car and turned on the engine. Sinatra’s voice from the radio flooded around him until it was shattered by a loud, heart wrenching screech followed by the dull thud of a collision of something solid to something much softer. Daniel looked into the rearview mirror and his heart ceased to beat.
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The pounding did not stop. The irritating voice did not help. Dr. Bonham still hadn’t arrived. Daniel Hill realized that his life was about to end. His body would join the place where his heart went so many year ago. Dead and cold his heart for all those years after that day he had tried to push out of his mind. And he couldn’t do anything to help.
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When she was hit, she flew into the air as gracefully as she had been in the last ballet show Daniel had seen of her. He watched in horror , tears fallen from his eyes, as he watched her land. The cracking sounds were horrid, the blood was too much. She never had a chance. He was at her side within seconds. He sobbed as he called her name. She looked at him and barely made eye contact as she smiled. Her hand in his she started to laugh. Then he started to laugh as well. An ambulance arrived fairly quickly,for they weren’t that far out of town. The people in the small trailer a bit up the road had probably heard the commotion. When the paramedics arrived, Daniel and Emmy were still laughing. The medics were confused by their laughter until they looked at Emmy and Danny’s eyes. Their overwhelming fear had caused their laughter. The blood that escaped past Emmy’s lips had started to seep into Daniel’s sleeve. Emmy‘s eyes had begun to cloud over. Daniel knew she didn’t have much time left.
Daniel and Emmy wouldn’t have anymore moments together. And he was terrified. What would he do without each other. How would he go on? Daniel wouldn’t move even though the paramedics asked him to. Soon their laughter slowed and only Emmy’s panting count be heard over Daniel’s sobs. Her breathing had became staggered and her hands had lost their warmth. Carefully he lent over and kissed her lips. When he came back, he had traces of her blood on his lips. His tears fell on her face and mixed with her own. The medics watched, they knew it was over.
“I love you Daniel Jay Hill. I wish I could have realized it earlier than today. I would have married you one day.” Emmy’s tears continued to fall, the natural blush of the skin faded. “ Don’t be too sad without me. Paint emotions. Sculpt movement. Photograph memories. Don’t mourn me, remember what we had. Let us inspire you. Be free. Feel hope. Live love. I’ll miss you as much as I love you. I love you forever.” Silence cascaded around al those present. The only sound was Daniel’s heavy sobs.
And then her warmth was gone. More people had arrived, from where was unknown. They cried silently as they witnessed the division of two souls. The streets grew dim. The air, cold.
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Daniel did not listen to the voices around him, telling him to hold on. Daniel knew he could no longer live his life of illusion. Daniel understood that Emmy never actually visited in his room. The pills allowed him to live in a cloud, allowed him to devote all his efforts of escaping guilt. But Daniel could finally be released. Really, there was nothing he could have done that day to help her. He had done the only thing he could have done; gave her his declaration of his love for her. That moment, the one in which his lips touched her, was his proudest moment. And soon, after he left his withered body, he’d be with her again. And they could share more of their moments together. Daniel smiled quietly to himself as he felt his heart continue to fail, to beat at an erratic rate. And he lay still as it slowed, his breath with it. His mind fogged, the voices became softer, ambience as he faded away. He thought of her last words as the air grew cold. Daniel did not shiver, but instead, whispered her name for one last time.
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In life, there are many roads one may travel down depending on personal choices made. But, despite the many roads traveled, there is always one destination in the end. That destination is death. Death is inexorable. Since death will happen to each and every being on Earth, there is no reason to dread the end. It is something shared with anything and everything that breathes. In death, there is a release. In death, there is a new hope. No matter ones religious beliefs, death is a mystery. No one actually knows what occurs after death. So let go of any apprehensions that one has during life and be free in death. It is not the end, but a new start.
–End–
(or beginning)
